Fat Logic

There’s a group on Reddit I stumbled upon, mostly by accident. But I try to see all sides of things, and clicked in there this week. Some of the things they post is just adv excuse to make fun of fat people. They make fun of then accepting their bodies. They make fun of fat people making excuses or looking for more information about why weight loss it’s harder for them than dine people. They make fun of many approaches to dieting, even if the person doing it had switched up hire they eat for good. 

Some of the stuff, I suppose I agree with. Manning that I duo think eating too many calories leads to weight gain. Or that many period make a simple thing complicated, then fail. But they also try to way over simplify. And I’ll admit, I used to be one of those people. I used to think weight loss was easy. And didn’t understand why people didn’t just eat less and move more (specifically, lifting weights and any type of cardio you like). 

That was then. 

To clarify, I do still think excess calories make you gain. And I still think everyone should lift weights and get in some sort of endurance to strengthen your heart. I don’t have a set idea on how to lift – I just think muscle mass and strength training is good for you. I also think the cardio can be as simple as walking. Or you can run. Or you can do HIIT. Or power yoga. It should challenge your heart.And doesn’t have to be for hours at a time. That’s just what I think. It can easily be disputed.

But I no longer think weight loss is simple. And the assholes who simplify it are assholes. They say, “Just stop eating. Hormones have nothing to do with it. Insulin doesn’t matter.” Or whatever they say. They only see their experience in front of them. 

When you see people start to ask why it’s easy for some people and harder for others, their only answer is too fast, or eat less and you’ll be less hungry, or exercise more, or eat less than you’re eating now. Great, thanks for that. The person was asking WHY. Why do some people lose weight without hunger? Why do some lose at a much higher caloric intake? Why do many people lose weight, then have a list metabolism than someone who hasn’t lost? 

There is nuance to this. Hormones, or something beyond simple sheer willpower is involved here. It is a lot harder fit dine people. All fat.people aren’t gluttons. They aren’t all lazy and excuse making. What works for you doesn’t work for everyone. And for some people, despite diligence, the weight doesn’t budge. And trust me, most overweight people would love to be a lower weight. And if it were that simple, most people would be a lower weight. 

All I’ve wanted since I gained weight is to be a lower weight. I’ve tried so many things. And after awhile, I get exhausted and quit until I have a new plan. Then I start over. The doctor offers diet pills. Or suggests I weigh food (I do). 

I don’t need your over simplified platitudes. If you can’t explain why it’s different for everyone. So being an asshole about people being different. 

Craving the Outdoors

I’m not sure if it’s the unseasonably cool sorting weather, the rain, or something else, but I’ve been craving the outdoors. 

I spent the majority of last weekend outside, working in my yard. I’m in a relatively new to me house, and last spring was spent tending to la fancy things in and out of the house. But with pay houses I was never this excited about being outdoors. I do have a better, more private setting than in previous houses, do that might be all it takes. Many neighbors spend weeknight evenings and weekends outside. But without using each other as an excuse to talk or procrastinate. In fact, usually the neighbors only interrupt you to help. Maybe offering some if their overflowing perennials. Or some gardening supplies they no longer need. 

I’m not much of a gardener. I don’t really have the creative eye for it. But I’m trying to learn. I’m trying to choose lower maintenance and naive options. And I’m trying to make big, sweeping changes while also staying in the details. 

I actually want to re-paint my whole house. And have decided I’m just going to work on little by little until it’s done. Maybe this sitting. More likely this fall or even next spring.

Being out of adv HOA has done wonders for improving my stress level. These neighbors are encouraging and supportive. Not competitive and judgmental. Houses range from “master gardener” to “minimally maintained.” I’m definitely on the minimally maintained side of the scale. I want to always be low maintenance. But could definitely do some work for it to look better while being barely maintained. 

Anyway, I’ve really enjoyed my time outside. And feel like my stress level is a fraction of a year ago. I have been able to work outside for hours without a break. And my energy has stayed steady. 

Overall, I’m so happy it’s spring. And hope summer is very patient in arriving. 

Maintaining Weight Loss – The Last Stance

I first gained weight in college. I always correlate the gain with a breakup and comfort eating. But, the truth is, I may have gained the weight regardless. Was I eating healthy before? Not really. I’d eat a Poptart late morning at work so I could make it through my early afternoon classes. I’d grab a McDonald’s breadkafst sandwich and Coke on the way to work sometimes, and would grab convenience foods between classes for lunch. I’d probably gained about ten pounds my freshman year, just from more access to junk. 

I grew up in a small town. We had one local pizza place, and the next town over also had pizza. Otherwise,e I mostly ate at home. In high school, id eat a little dry cereal or a Poptart for breakfast. Usually a piece of fruit or a simple cheese sandwich on white bread for lunch, some candy in the afternoon, usually with a Pepsi, and whatever my mom made for dinner (it was a low fat high carb world) with some sort of simple snack. Not nutrient dense at all, but probably relatively low calorie. 

It’s possible no matter what happened, my diet choices would have led to weight gain.

In college, I had more access to excess. More freedom to drink more alcohol (I did drink in high school, but not as often). I was in the city, so access to fast food all the time, which felt like a treat. Vending machine food at work, with no one caring how often I had sweets or salty snacks. Plus, generally sitting around at work or in class. 

I’m not even sure that whatever I did, I wasn’t destined for weight gain. 

It seems no mater what some people do, they gain. They adhere to a strict diet, it works for a time, then stops. 

I’m in a keto “support group” where Jimmy Moore was brought up. I didn’t realize he had gained around half of the weight he’s lost back. And there was a brief discussion, then a mod stopped the discussion because that’s what mods in these groups do. It’s like there are boundaries around what’s right and wrong, they think they know everything, and that’s the end of the story. Once they’ve said their part, even if it’s biased, they shut down the conversation. Even if people are civil. If people start saying, “OMG, what if keto doesn’t work?” Or, “what if, like every other diet I’ve done, it works for some initial success, then stops?” “What if, despite my allegiance and diligence, I eventually gain back?”

I think the mods shut this stuff down because they want to believe keto is the holy grail. They want to believe anyone who gains is lying, and misrepresenting what they’re doing. But, I don’t believe that’s true. Here’s what I believe:

  1. Many overweight and obese people eat better than many thin people. Less calories and processed “junk food.” Thin people assume overweight/obese people are lying. 
  2. Your body changes when you diet. And I don’t mean just weight loss, I mean shit inside changes. And this is why an absurdly large percent of people gain weight back. The diet they’re doing stops being effective, so they gain. And over time, sure, they become frustrated and done adhere anymore. But adhering wasn’t working, either.
  3. Gastric bypass seems to be one of the few sustainable ways to lose. But you have to be fairly overweight to qualify, the weight comes off quickly, and you’re prone to malnutrition. Is it a simple super-restricted diet creating their success? And if so, why doesn’t this stand up in non gastric patients? 
  4. I know people who are semi-successful with a smaller amount of weight loss who lose, adjust their diet, gain a little, adjust diet again, lose, adjust again, gain. But stay in a ten pound window. This also seems to be a maybe semi-successful approach. And the one I’m considering adopting since bypass isn’t on my radar. 

What else do you see that’s frustrating about the religion of dieting? Or “lifestyle changes,” if that’s what you prefer calling it. I hate the lifestyle and diet industry so much. And the narrative controlled by a few, when so many are struggling, but their voices are muted out. I want to discuss real, long term solutions. Not the voice of a few know it all, who are closed off to anything but their preconceived notions and confirmation biases. 

Keto Day 70 – Down 10 pounds

I actually crossed the 10 pound mark on day 62. But for some reason didn’t document it. Work has been really busy, so my eating, while keto, has been more quick grabs of bunkers burgers, hot wings and Mexican burrito bowls (sans rice and beans). I’m still only working out 1-2 days a week at about 20-30 minutes. And my sleep is mediocre at best.

So, all of that to say I can certainly do better than I am, but I’m also definitely full on keto atill, and it’s become pretty easy. 

I’m getting used to people judging the diet and it doesn’t bother me at all. I’m getting past the occasional urge to rage-quit when the scale hasn’t moved. And I’m even mostly to the point General foods don’t tempt me. In fact, when I do have a planned carb meal (about once every two weeks), I eat far less than I have in the past, and feel pretty good after. 

So, what’s next? My goals are actually more clothes sizes than pounds. Right now I’m in a size 15/16. Some are getting loose, others are on the slightly tight side. So my next goal is to start fitting into some 14s.

I also want tog eat some better sleep habits in place. And would love to get an AM workout in once I adapt to the time change. I really enjoy the shorter workouts, and feel hopeful they might be a good pre-work fit. Usually when I workout, I feel so much better overall. And I think that would help even out my sleeping patterns. 

Anyway, that’s all! 10lb Mark. Solidly in the next lower size. Slow progress with working out, but progress! I’m happy! 

Keto Day 57 – Down 9.4 Pounds – Observations

I’ve made it two months and I’m NOT gaining weight back! A superior success considering my last attempt at this. I even did some quick waist measurements on Friday, and I’m down! (Most are 1/2-3/4″). 

The good, the bad, the challenging:

  • Good: It has been far easier this time. I think because I cut out exercise. I think exercise was making me crave, and probably screwing with cortisol.
  • Good: I have found I like what I eat and even have switched to “lazy keto.” That doesn’t mean you eat more carbs, it means you don’t track strictly. I think once I switched to lazy, I was actually eating LESS. I’m still not losing at a lightning fast speed or anything, but it’s effortless now!
  • Bad: I actually am not sure if keto is to blame for this or my iron supplements, but I’m more constipated than ever. I was in a pretty good place pre-keto, going once a day. Now I probably go 3-4 days a week. 
  • Bad: I am not sure what I think about fake sweeteners. I feel like in the future many of these (except, ironically, aspartame, which has had tons of research) will be “what the hell were we thinking?” products. 
  • Challenging: The biggest challenge had been figuring out when I can workout again. I do miss it, and feel more stiff since I haven’t been. I’ve still been doing yard work and housework that keeps me moving. And I think I’ve done about three weight training workouts since the start of the year. But that’s it. I did a “regular” 20 minute workout today, and I’m going to keep to 20 minutes a few times a week. If that works, I’ll increase length or frequency. If 20 minutes 1-3 times a week is too much, I’ll back way off. 

My goal, far more than weight loss, is size loss. I’ve decided I’d love to be a size 12. And I’ll be pretty dang happy there. 

I’ve also found that I might have a specific food that challenges me (mostly pizza and fresh baked bread products) , but when I cheat, I often find the cheat foods disappointing. Sweet foods (even with fake sweeteners still in my life) feel really over-sweet, and I don’t miss those at all. But there are times I’d quit the whole thing to have a large pizza. I think I might plan a pizza cheat meal in the near future just to see how it tastes versus how it’s made up in my mind. 

Other than that, this has been easy! I do wish I were losing faster,but am happy to be losing at all! 

Keto – Day 47 – Zero Appetite – Sick or Fat Adapted? 

Today is actually the end of day 48, but I’m just now getting around to writing this, and keep delaying because I keep telling myself I’m about to have a stomach bug. Truth is, if a stomach bug is coming on, I usually don’t have a ton of warning, and eating things like cream-based dressings, avocados, cabbage, nuts and seeds, and other heavy, fatty or fiber-full things isn’t usually received well. 

That said, a stomach bug is moving through the office and only time will tell how I feel tomorrow, in three days, next week. This might all be a fluke. But, if it’s not, this is fantastic, and I can tell how people lose weight! 

Thursday I woke up and wasn’t hungry for breakfast. Had my coke zero with vanilla (not paid to say that, just a groupie), and felt fine. I did have a moment where I felt light headed and another where I felt a little gassy. But neither of those things is terribly weird. I was exhausted because I have slept less well this week, and Thursday is my early morning. Come lunch, I still had no appetite so I skipped lunch. On the way home from work I was hungry. So I had a salad with avocados, pumpkin seeds, a little lettuce, cheese, broccoli, pickles and homemade ranch. No, I’m not pregnant. :) This is apparently how I eat now. Felt fine, slept great. Woke up Friday, same thing, minus the light headedness (that, honestly I think came from being tired Thursday). No breakfast. Handful of pumpkin seeds for lunch, a quest bar for a snack (that honestly, I could have skipped) and another similar salad for dinner. 

My stomach rumbles a fair amount, but that’s par for the course eating low carb for me.

I was down 8 pounds total this morning. 

And if I eat one meal and one snack a day, weight should start coming off fast. I’m trying not to get excited in case it is a short lived bug. But I am close to starting week 8, and weeks 8-12 are generally fat adaptation zone.  No one said appetite would drop like this, but it’s been fantastic.

In related news, I think I hate most keto people. They’re such pretentious know it all snobs. Yes, I know, not all. But it’s hard to find good people. I’ve joined and left like six facebook groups. And realized I’m probably better going this alone, anyway. I don’t lose like the average low carber, and I’m looking for a sustainable way of eating, not shoving down fat I don’t want, starving myself to lower calories, working out ten hours a week, etc. I also don’t want to track macros super close the rest of my life. There’s not just a laid back group of people who are like, hey, let’s be cool and supportive. It’s such a contest. 

Right now, looking forward to week eight. And maybe getting to that elusive ten pound mark! And determining whether this appetite change is here to stay…. 

Keto – 35 days, 7 pounds, 1 modified workout

Thirty-five days into keto, and it’s been waaaaaaaaay easier than I expected. I’ve “cheated” three times in five weeks. All were planned. All were social events with food. I have two cheats planned over the next four weeks. I know most people go low-carb and are either all in for life, or in and out and don’t really like it. I actually like it, but want a bit of freedom for specific restaurants, when I go to dinner parties, and because I love trying new foods, and enjoying old favorites. I want to eat for health, but I’ll always get pleasure out of it. 

If I remember accurately, I lost about 2 1/2 pounds the first two or three days, water weight. Then yo-yoed, and got up to about five not too long after my period, which I think was in week three. I stayed at five for two weeks. Even hit upticks. Had one random day I was at -6.2, but popped right back up to closer to 4. The first time I did keto, this is what happened. I got stuck right before five, then started creeping back to zero.

This week, I hit -6.4. Then the next day -7. And today, still -7. I feel like this is working for me! I’m losing less than 1/2 pound per week, but it’s a loss!

And today I did my first workout. I used the Metabolic a Effect adrenal fatigue improvement approach to working out as hard as you can for up to 1 minute, then rest until your heart rate comes back to resting. Then go again, for  no longer than 20 minutes, I only got in six intervals. The theory is after so long, you won’t be able to recover. And the last 5+ minutes of the workout were waiting to recover. So six intervals in fifteen minutes isn’t too bad. Plus, I feel muscle fatigue already! And am hopeful I won’t be dead tired tomorrow. 

Other than that, I actually love the diet. I’ve enjoyed eating avocados almost every single day. I’ve eaten hot wings, and put lots of butter on broccoli and cauliflower. I’ve been eating nuts and seeds for minerals. Lots of things feel like treats. I don’t let myself get terribly hungry. And I’m drinking tons of water. 

Overall, my energy seems to come in waves. I’d say more good than bad, and I think the ratio is increasing. My mental focus is great. My anxiety has drastically decreased (but not eliminated), and the bit of mild depression I sometimes feel has been mostly gone. I’m still waiting for an exciting clothes size jump. But I’ve been really good with house work. Although, it feels like today hasn’t been a great example. Isn’t that the way? 

Anyway, right now I love it and it seems to be working (albeit slowly) for me. I’ll keep updating. Hopefully great things continue to happen! 

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