Frustration!

And for once, it’s not weight-loss related. Well, not directly!

I expected frustration and stress to set in once I started school. But not before! I was approved for tuition reimbursement several months ago, before I applied to go back to school. I was approved, and completed the application process, and was accepted. In the process of making payment arrangements, I asked for some information from our Human Resources Department, and suddenly find out I’m no longer approved.

I’m frustrated because:

  •  If I hadn’t asked for information before classes started, I wouldn’t have known they were no longer going to pay. I would have gotten to the end of the semester and been out the money. THIS is the biggest, most frustrating thing.
  • I’m frustrated because I spent a lot of time getting accepted into the school, and now it appears that’s time wasted.
  • I feel stupid if I have to call the school and drop out of my classes. I’ve been working with one girl at the school, and I already had to have her delay a semester because I couldn’t get approval. I finally got it, now I have to call and tell her I don’t anymore. That’s embarrassing to me for some reason, even though it’s my employer who’s unorganized, not me. I guess I feel like who I choose to work for is an extension of who I am?
  • I am sad because I looked at some of the readings for the class. They are EXACTLY what I was hoping to learn more about, and was actually starting to read before classes started.
  • I am annoyed because I feel like they aren’t listening. When I was a child, I always felt like no one was listening to me, and this was one of my worst parts of being a child and young adult. I try to be very conscious of this and listen to my niece and nephews. And right now that’s exactly how I feel. Rather than asking how this program benefits my career here, or what the program entails, they’re just assuming I don’t know or am trying to use the system. I was told to look at my weaknesses and what was holding me back from taking the next steps in my career. I have been told I react emotionally or inappropriately to people at work. I took this recommendation seriously, and don’t think anyone realizes how much time I’ve put into researching what I need to overcome some of my professional weaknesses and move to the next level of my career. I keep trying to explain the classes to everyone, and very few people listen or see the benefit. I suppose if that’s a general consensus among the business community, it’s not going to look very impressive on my resume. But I feel strongly about it, and hope to get a lot from it.

So here I am, playing the waiting game. My instinct is to simply drop the classes because this issue will keep rearing its ugly head. Or maybe it’s a sign the classes aren’t going to be good or worth the money. Or maybe it has nothing to do with me, and is a breakdown in communication here. Which I need to accept I can’t fix.

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