Fast – Day Six

Yesterday was kind of a mess with eating. Meaning I ate all the carbs. But only in three meals. And I didn’t count calories, but feel like I didn’t go crazy. I already have a few things I want to eat tomorrow. Not sure if that’s good or bad, but so far, they’re mostly higher protein meals. Not carb loaded. I think I just stretched myself too far with the last fast. This one will be around 36 hours. 

Weight this morning was up 2.2 pounds from yesterday. Which is still down a little over four pounds in six days. 

So far today, fasting us easy. Hunger is about a 2 and I haven’t really thought much about eating for hunger’s sake. Rather, again, I wanted to eat because I like to eat. I can’t tell if by not eating it’s helping the eating for pleasure, fun, boredom, negative emotions, to connect with others, too disconnect from things that are bothering me, etc. Midst of the reasons I seem to eat are because of habit and because I want to eat that particular thing. Not because of true hunger. Hell, I’m not even sure if the obsessive feeling on Monday was true hunger or just my emotions winning. I’m looking forward to, over time, having the feeling of “want” lessen. 

That’s all I have for today. I’ll check in again tomorrow, or if something significant happens. 

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. rubylane869
    Aug 03, 2016 @ 13:52:45

    You’re like me. I eat because I love food & because I want that particular thing. I eat when I’m not hungry sometimes (most times) because I just want to eat. It’s never ending.

    Reply

    • stumbletowardhealth
      Aug 03, 2016 @ 14:04:25

      You know, most of the time I feel like I’m hungry. But it makes me wonder if that was a blood sugar/insulin thing, or just in my head. It’s funny, I let my appetite control me and my mood. But was I ever really that hungry if I can go days without eating?

      That said, Monday’s meltdown was lyrically almost ask emotional. I started missing eating. And then boredom set in. And the only thing that fit me through the day was thinking about all the things I might eat when I did eat.

      And that first bite was so delicious. I think I groaned.

      I hope by continuing these smaller fasts, seeing hunger comes and his in waves, realizing I need FAR less food to survive, and how more often the good thoughts come OUTSIDE of the waves of hunger, hopefully I can so eating as much because I want a particular food. Even just delaying and thinking on those foods will hopefully be therapeutic.

      I’m so early into this, it is hard to know what the future holds. I didn’t like that desperate feeling. Then feeling like I was binging, even though I probably didn’t eat more than a normal dinner. But still feeling guilty after. I also want to get past that guilt.

      It’s a lot to work through. Thanks for your comment! I think the dialogue really helps me sort through some of the emotional part!

      Reply

    • stumbletowardhealth
      Aug 03, 2016 @ 14:07:20

      Also, I’ve tried to take a look at your blog and the display doesn’t work right on my phone. But I am going to take a look when I’m in another device!

      Reply

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