Fast – Day Nine

Almost without warning, things went off the rails. I was so hungry last night, I couldn’t sleep. So I ate. Then I slept. And today I’ve been eating all day. My legs are sore from yesterday’s workout, so it’s possible it was that. It’s possible it is mental. I’m not sure. 

I don’t have any plans of giving up. I’m eating today. Monday should be a fast day, since I’m eating Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday, and want to fast Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. But I’m going to see how things go. I don’t want to kill myself in the short term and quit in the long term. 

I’ll keep you posted.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Lisa
    Aug 10, 2016 @ 08:42:41

    I never lost weight and kept it off until I accepted myself at my heavier weights and decided to stop using “lose weight” as a goal. Instead I set goals like, “Get stronger.” “Stop making judgments about others bodies and stop comparing my body to other bodies.” “Lift weights to be badass and to make my job easier.” Then I lost weight. As a side effect. Never as the main effect. Certainly over fifty pounds.
    I haven’t weighed myself in four years (I don’t even let my doctor tell me my weight and I stand backwards on their scale) and I haven’t gained any size or needed bigger clothes in four years. Before that I was up and down, up and down, up and down, everywhere between size 8 and size 16. Now I’m a steady 12 and I won’t like, sometimes I do wish I were a 6… but that’s someone else’s body. Not mine.
    I hope you love your body in all its forms, and I hope the best in all facets of life for you.
    Long time blog reader.

    Reply

    • stumbletowardhealth
      Aug 10, 2016 @ 10:26:47

      Hi Lisa- Yes, I do appreciate my body and all it can do for me. I’m actually lucky that I build and rebuild strength pretty would and love lifting weights. I also love that, despite my weight, I can hold my own in MOST situations. I defiantly give my body credit where it’s due. And know where I am came from NOT respecting it.

      My weight loss goal is purely for health reasons. My weight is past the obese marker, just in body fat percentage (I don’t give credence to bmi). And my blood pressure definitely suffers because of it. So I do have a fat loss goal. Meaning my size, as far as health goes, isn’t where I should be. But I do still love myself and know I have worth beyond how I look. I know I’m good at my job, a great friend, a good cook, ambitious and creative, hard working and reliable. I know those things are stable despite how I look.

      Anyway, I don’t have a single digit size goal. Or even a specific size beyond I’d love to not be in plus sizes because standard sizes are easier to shop with. I’d be pleased to be a 12. And look forward to celebrating a 14. Overall, I’m not aiming for a specific weight or size. But rather, healthier markers. And I know not all overweight people are unhealthy, the truth is my blood pressure has increased with gain, and activities like running are harder the heavier I am. And things being harder makes it harder to be motivated to workout.

      So the goal isn’t weight loss in the sense I’m not eating and just doing cardio. Rather it’s fat loss. And endurance and strength increase. And improved health markers.

      And all of that is hard to accomplish as long as working out kicks the energy out if me, I stay in an obese state, and it’s more comfortable to not move as opposed to moving. When I’m a lower weight, it’s mire uncomfortable NOT to move. Now moving us harder on my joints and body, so not moving us more comfortable.

      There’s nothing more empowering than feeling strong, running without feeling like your body is shutting down, or heading out to any old workout and feeling like I can hang. I love feeling how I feel while I run and after when I get to a good place with it. Or watching my muscles work or be more defined.

      I know it’s not about just being skinny. But the truth is, I need to lose weight. I tried just working on strength and I got strong-fatter. I tried just doing what I liked, and I gained more. It has to be intentional for me to lose, and over the past five years, even intentional hasn’t worked.

      Fasting has yet to pan out as far as long term, sustainable loss. But I feel better than I have in a long time. My strength is going up. Endurance is increasing. And I’m enjoying pushing my body and not crashing after. I hope it continues. If it doesn’t, I’ll try something else. But, yes, I always love and associate my body for all is done and endured, in all its forms. Thanks for the post and letting me clarify!

      Reply

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